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Can a Marriage Survive Infidelity?
Posted under marriage infidelity
There are marriages and there are marriages. You can expect/demand the sun, moon and the stars or almost nothing. It’s a question of personality and perspective. But there is no doubt that the most important thing in a marriage, as in any other relationship, is honesty and real understanding.
In a marriage of the kind we all yearn to have, fidelity is vital. It implies a commitment that’s total and complete. You seek the closest intimacy possible from no one else, so sufficient is the love you receive. What could be more reassuring, more meaningful? But a relationship that intense, comes with a price tag.
And infidelity in a relationship based on such love can be shattering. Nothing can fix that first fine careless rupture. Trust is ruptured forever. It’s a betrayal that leaves you feeling painfully inadequate.
You look back through the prism of time and realise how wonderfully didactic you were in your youth! At 25, black and white could never co-exist. But then, life happens. And you realise that grey exists, and it is often a zone that needs far more maturity and understanding to inhabit than you ever dreamt.
When you’ve been married nearly 27 years, the first lesson you learn is that marriage is a relationship which, like human beings themselves, is constantly morphing and evolving. It’s an equation where the variables change the answers constantly. People sometimes lead married lives together with infidelity between them. Children, autumn love, companionship allow such relationships to survive.
But at the end of the day, it’s really what you want from your marriage and partner. You can survive infidelity (don’t we survive everything?), but that’s the right word, isn’t it? Survive. If you want more, you have to sacrifice something. That my friend, is the nature of the beast.
Here are some of the locations on the internet which offer more helpful tips on the above subject. I hope they may provide you some help.
Dealing with Infidelity – An extra marital affair affects both you and your partner. Both parties have to deal with the consequences. Here’s how you do it ….
Building Healthy Relationships – Relationship expert advice for various relationship issues & problems.
.htm”>Free Marriage Advice & Help – Steps to re-establish that bond in your relationship.
Michael Douglas
http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/can-a-marriage-survive-infidelity-81166.html
How often does a marriage survive infidelity?
When all the available resources are used i.e. counseling, how many times out of ten does the trust return and the marriage heal?
I’d say it would have everything to do with the situation surrounding the infidelity. If it was a one-time mistake, and the relationship is otherwise sound, there’s probably some hope.
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zero, in your case. sorry hun, he does not sound level headed. we spoke before.
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50% according to the studies.
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I saw recently a study that most who use all the resources that the marriage has a 74% chance of survival. The person who was cheated on must be willing to forgive and that’s where the real problem lies.
The marriage has a good shot if the person who cheated remains monogomous ever after and the person who was cheated on will agree I(at some point) to truly forgive and try again.
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I think it ultimately comes down to whether or not the person who was cheated on can get past it. If they can truly forgive, then there is a chance. If it weighs on their mind constantly, then there is little hope.
Good luck to you.
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1 out of ten may make it, the rest will divorce sooner or later.
If someone has to "work" on a marriage and "work" on trusting the other person, you’re with the wrong partner.
Marriage is all about loyalty (if you can’t trust your spouse, who can you trust?) and compromise, both should come easy and if it doesn’t move on. Life is too short.
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married 17 years and going strong.
its up to u, and how much remorse he shows. it also has allot to do with ones belief system, and how badly u were hurt by the cheating. the one who cheated would have to be the one to regain the trust that was lost. depends on how strong your faith is, depends if the marriage was a good one up until now, or if it wasn’t. if it wasn’t i wouldn’t try. i would try christian counseling first. your spouses willingness to communicate and acknowledge what they did helps allot.
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Not often. And what do you mean by survive? I mean think about it. Yes, some people stay together through infidelity and after. But from what I have seen, they are not happy. They may ’survive’, but at what cost? Do they really heal? I don’t think so. How do you really ever trust your spouse again after such a huge betrayal?
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very slim chance. but lots of hard work on both parties.
good luck
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The trust never returns.
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I don’t think the trust would ever fully return.
The question is if you are able to live with someone you can never fully trust.
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It’s hard to state any type of statistic. The thing about trust is that it can be regained. You can trust the person again but that takes hoenstly at all times on both parts to make sure the issue does not keep repeating itself over and over again. It depends on how willing both people are to seeing it through. For instance if the wife cheated, her husband has to be willing to find a way to forgive and restore trust over time. The wife needs to communicate where she is and be there as well as be back when she says she will. She will basically need to be totally upfront about all plans for a while to have the trust back. Either way it’s a long road full that will be hard…
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It is highly possible, but not only is it something he has to work on, but you as well. The problem with being attached to a cheater is that you will harbor anger and resentment. Learning to forgive is hard work. I don’t necessarily believe in the motto "Once a cheater always a cheater" but sometimes you just have to raise your white flag and admit defeat.
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Not often, it all depends on if that person can handle it. I know from experience because I cheated on my wife and she cheated on me. With me I did mines bout 4 or 5 yrs ago so it took her a while, but with her she did it bout last yr and I am just getting over it. It is hard to trust somebody who cheated on you but if you can handle it by all means stay in and work on your marriage but if not then just leave.
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